I am 25 years old and would not consider myself an expert in dating. However, the stories and tidbits I have to share from my past and present are educational, comical, and sometimes emotional. I had my first boyfriend at age 12. Oh, Luke - the boy from the bus stop... we had such a romance, from the post-its on each others backs to the shoulder punches. In the 13 years since then I have dated men from all over the country, every body type, every hair color, from 5'4" - 6"6". If I had to identify my type it would be a laidback guy who is close to his family. Those are the only things that really appear in all of my relationships that last more than a month.
Let us start with the story that also gets a laugh or look of horror from any audience. I was 18 years old and it was the spring semester of my freshman year at college, 16 hours away from where I was raised. I lived with one roommate (who was cautious about strange men, but dated a guy off the internet that she had never met for over three years) on the second floor of an apartment complex. One lovely day, I was dressed in bright orange shorts and an old tee with yellow rubber gloves on - when there was a knock at the door. There was a very tall, cocky looking guy with a Mr.Clean haircut. I had seen Mr. Clean around the building, and he would wave and call me "sweetheart", but I had never actually talked to him. After introducing himself, Mr.Clean's very next line was - "If I don't end up going to jail on Thursday, would you like to go on a date?" BIG PAUSE... Then, I heard the first words that came to my head come out of my mouth, "Sure, if you'll put air in my tires first". Okay, those must be the two strangest precursors to an actual date.
And yet... Mr. Clean did not go to jail (yet) and he did put air in my tires. So... we went on a date. I know, I know - ridiculous, right? Luckily it was a group thing. We met Mr. Clean's friends for dinner and then went to a bar. Dinner was okay - although we went to a steakhouse and I was a vegetarian. Things turned from interesting to appalling when the group arrived at the bar. The small bar was packed, the bathroom flooded, and Mr.Clean was trying to buy the entire bar a drink. I had to continually inform girls that he was "harmless" and liked to showoff. When we finally took a seat at a large table, Mr. Clean pulled out a sports drink bottle. He gave me a sly smile when he took swig after swig. I assumed it was just whiskey or tequila, but I finally turned to Mr. Clean's friend, Mike and whispered, "What is that?" Mike answered that it was G, as in GHB... which is apparently a drug that this small town girl had never even heard of. Mr. Clean began to get obnoxious, trying to kiss me with slanty eyes and practically taking my shirt off at the table. Mike finally got the hint and offered to take us home. Mike and I made our way to the car, thinking Mr. Clean and another friend, JJ, were right behind us. Unfortunately we had lost Mr. Clean on the way. Mike sent JJ to find him. Mike apologized for Mr. Clean's behavior and explained more about the drug to me. I was appalled by all of it. I had barely ever drank alcohol.
The rest of the story shall wait until tomorrow... time to get back to my real job for a bit :)
